7 hilarious ways to thwart off your relatives when you’re single as f*** for the Holidays.

So, it’s that time of year again.

Holiday get togethers.

Of course I’m SUPER DUPER excited to see all my relatives & explain how single I am. So while I sit here with a tub of ice cream (kidding), I resorted to a little holiday humor, & I thought I’d share my mischief with you all.

Here are some tips & tricks to getting through the Holidays with your relatives, whether you are notoriously single, recently heart broken, or just looking for some laughs.

  1. Pet Lover???
    Are you an obsessive dog mom? This trick works best with relatives who don’t know your pets name, & it goes like this:
    Relative: “So, anyone special in your life?”
    You: “Actually, yes! I was going to bring Jack* because I wanted everyone to meet him. He’s usually so obedient, but I got worried that he’d get too overwhelmed with all the people & food here. I really didn’t want him to have an accident, or jump up on the counters & eat all the horderves. Besides, his farts smell really bad when he’s nervous. 
    * Insert your pets name here.
    – DO NOT ACTUALLY MENTION THAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT AN ANIMAL.
    – Continue to rant on & on about all characteristics of your dog, as if you were talking about your significant other that you are infatuated with.
    – The goal here is to have one conversation that means something completely different to the two people conversing. You clearly know you’re talking about your pet, but your relative is left dazed & confused about what kind of weird kinky relationship you’re involved in.
    – If they seem concerned about what you’re saying, quickly respond with, “Oh, you weren’t asking about my dog?”, & walk away.images-1.jpeg
  2. World Traveler?
    Did you recently return from an amazing trip abroad? When family members ask if you’re seeing someone new, excitedly tell them all about your new romance from your recent trip to *Spain.
    Don’t forget to include all the details about how it was love at first sight when you caught him pick-pocketing another tourist, & how you couldn’t get enough of his beautiful voice as he said, “¿Te casarás conmigo para que pueda convertirme en un estadounidense?”* over & over again.
    Admit that the relationship has been pretty rocky since you don’t speak the same language, but you’re working on it because you can’t get enough of each other.
    – *Insert the country you visited here.
    – If you google translate the Spanish phrase I used, it actually means, “Will you marry me so I can become an American?” (You can use this phrase in any language to match the country you traveled to.) BONUS POINTS if: A.) one of your relatives is fluent in this language, or B.) if they ask what the phrase means: admit that you don’t actually know, & google translate it with them. Casually mention that it totally explains why he proposed to you so quickly, & act like it’s no big deal.images-2.jpeg
  3. Recent Breakup?
    Are you concerned about your relatives asking why you & your significant other recently broke up? Let’s be honest, no one actually wants to discuss the details of their latest heartbreak with their family over the holidays, so here’s a quick fix. If anyone asks why you broke up respond with a ridiculous reason, & act as if it was as absolute deal breaker. Feel free to make up your own, but here are some ideas: Insert your Ex’s name/pronoun where it fits.
    – Jack likes pineapple on his pizza, & I just can not stand those type of people.
    – Jessie brushes her teeth in the shower, & she won’t listen when I tell her how disgusting that is.
    – Justin didn’t water my plants while I was away for the weekend, & obviously if he can’t water plants how could I ever rely on him to take care of our future children.
    – He didn’t call me back after I told him I loved him on the first date.
    – Lucas posted an ugly picture of me on Instagram on our anniversary. So inconsiderate.
    – He kept doing too many nice things for me, so I was suspicious he was cheating.
    – *** If you want to be extra risqué and really throw your relatives off: Use this one. He refused to do it *insert sex position* & that is just a deal breaker for me.
  4. Oh I’m just playing the field. *Use with caution.When a relative asks if you’re seeing anyone, go into a huge rant about your nonexistent dating life, Sex & the City style. Don’t forget to mention these crucial things to make the conversation really awkward & ensure your relatives never ask about your love life again.
    – Well I’ve been going on a lot of dates lately, & it turns out that the great guys never want to spend the night on the first date, & the ones that do, are either married or have an STD.
    – Tinder is a total bust, it’s mostly horny college kids & single baby daddies.
    – I tried dating a girl once, but I realized right away that I’m definitely straight.
    – Apparently guys are scared off when you tell them you want to have their babies right after you meet. Who knew?
    – & to be honest, I’m actually seeing two different guys right now, but I couldn’t decide which one to bring, so I told them both I was going to Alaska for the holidays to visit my family. That they wouldn’t come with.
    Side affects include, but are not limited to: Your family thinking you’re a slut, family interventions, your family thinking you’re boy crazy, your family thinking your unstable, or even worse, a family member asking for dating advice!
  5. Oh, didn’t you meet my new boyfriend? He’s around here somewhere.
    *This trick only works if you are at a very large gathering!
    If a family member asks if you’re seeing anyone new, act surprised & say, “Oh, you didn’t get a chance to meet my new boyfriend? He’s around here somewhere!” 
    Come up with different places he’s disappeared to as you see fit.
    – In the restroom.
    – Helping with dishes
    – Ran to the liquor store
    – Ran to the grocery store for any odd item.
    – Downstairs playing with the kiddos.
    When people start to catch on, leave the family get together. Run.
    BONUS POINTS: If people catch on too quickly, act like you can’t find your imaginary boyfriend & get your entire family to start looking for your boyfriend who doesn’t exist, & sneak away while you have the chance. I mean it, GET OUT.images-3.jpeg
  6. Star Crossed Lovers
    This one works for just about anyone. Explain to your family that you couldn’t bring your boyfriend home for the holidays because no one can actually know you’re dating, or you’re in love, but you can’t actually be together for various reasons. Here are some ideas:
    – You’re dating your boss
    – You’re dating your professor
    – You’re boyfriend is on house arrest
    – You’re boyfriend is in jail
    – You’re boyfriend is your sibling’s Ex
    – You’re in love with someone who doesn’t know you exist.Act as if  this is a totally reasonable excuse, and your relationship is totally normal & healthy. Watch as your family members begin to believe you are insane, but hey that’s better than being single right?!Unknown.png
  7. Holiday in Handcuffs
    If you’re still really worried about being single, you can always pull a full fledged Trudie from Holiday in Handcuffs, & kidnap someone to pretend to be your significant other. But watch out, you just might actually fall in love, & your life may turn into a RomCom.holiday-in-handcuffs-poster.jpgOn second thought, the odds are pretty good & this definitely seems like the best option!In all reality here’s to everyone out there that goes through the Holidays single (whether you’re ready to mingle or not). Curl up by the fire, & enjoy your hot chocolate alone, with no one to annoy you, interrupt your favorite Christmas song that’s been on repeat since Dec 1st, or judge you for watching ABC’s 25 days of Christmas Movies, 24/7.

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    Walk into your family get together with confidence, & brag about how freaking amazing you are. Don’t forget to talk all about your awesome new job, wonderful grades, the amazing solo traveling experience you just had, & especially how much you don’t need a significant other to be happy during the Holidays! 

    I hope you all found this as funny as I did, & remember, these tips work just as well, if not better for high school reunions. (:

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Tough Tuesday (2016 Election)

My goal here is not to fill your brains with political propaganda, but merely to make you think a little more about November 8th, 2016.

Maybe, like me, you’ve already spent hours thinking about it, & maybe, like me, you’re frustrated.

This is the VERY FRIST presidential election I will be able to vote in and I am more than disheartened by the circumstances of it. In fact I have embarrassingly uttered the words, “I don’t even want to vote this year.”

I am a 20 year old college student, & while I do not generally immerse myself in political tv or talkshows, I like to think that I am slightly more informed than the average joe. In all honesty, the first time I really understood what was going on during a Presidential election was 2008, the first time President Obama was running for office. Because I am so young, my voice is usually cast aside & ignored, but I’m tired. Tired of being regarded as uninformed, uneducated, and blatantly being told that I, “don’t understand the real world.”

In high school I started forming my own opinions on politics & policies. Since then they have evolved, changed, and morphed into what they are today. I won’t get into what they are specifically, because my goal in writing this blog is not to persuade you, but like I said, to make you think. I formed my opinions based off of my own experiences, what I have observed from others, and tried my hardest not to — only believe what my parents tell me. However, I was quickly realizing, that my opinions didn’t really line up exactly with either of the two super party’s platforms.

I believe the fact that we have two parties that are thought of as opposites is one of the biggest reasons that we have been at a impasse in our government as of late. Our government is no longer “for the people, by the people”. It has become a battle of winning and losing. Republican vs. Democrat. Politicians do not sit down to compromise in order to create policies that are in favor of the common good, they do not sit down to help one another towards common understanding and growth. They sit down to fight until they get their own way, & usually, this means no progress is made in any direction.

Yes, of course there are more options to vote for than just the Democratic or Republican candidate, but in the U.S. we all realize the likeliness of a 3rd party candidate being elected for almost any government position is very small. In fact 3rd party presidential candidates have often been the butt of jokes around election time. But why?

When election time rolls around people start asking questions.

“Who are you voting for?”

“Are you Republican or Democratic?”

But rarely do you hear someone ask the question, “WHY?” Ff they do ask that question, are they genuinely curious about your answer? When you ask that question are you honestly open to the idea that someone might have opinions that challenge your own, and if so, do you actually think that some of their ideas might be really valid?

Are you open to the possibility that your opinions might change and evolve as time goes on, or are you steadfast in your position, and unwilling to hear anyone else’s thoughts on the matter?

Moreover, when is the last time that you considered voting for someone outside of your party because you agreed with the positions they take on policy, rather than voting for them because they were part of your “Party”?

When was the last time that you voted for someone that was representing your “Party”, even though you didn’t agree with anything that candidate stood for?

Maybe you always agree with the candidates from your chosen party, and if so that’s great! More power to you, but for the vast majority of the US, that’s not the case. This year I have heard an unfathomable number of people say that they were going to vote for Hilary simply because they identify as DNC, or vote from Trump because they are GOP members, even though they RESENT THEIR CANDIDATE. Do all Mexican people eat tacos, and all Polish people eat potatoes? Are they supposed to eat a food they don’t like simply because society told them to? NO! So why are we voting for people we don’t respect or agree with, simply because they are the chosen candidate for our party?

It’s time that we started looking at elections as a possible win for AMERICA, rather than a win for Democrats, or a win for Republicans. Until we do this, it won’t matter who is elected, almost nothing will change in our government.

Now, I’m not proposing a specific candidate, I am just proposing that for those people who are unhappy with the current representatives of their party, START LOOKING OUTSIDE OF YOUR PARTY.

The two main candidates we have to choose from this year are a joke. They are both incredibly selfish, dramatic, ill-equipped, and under qualified politicians. Instead of promoting their platforms they plan on winning the election by bashing one another for the next 4 months. How can we possibly trust either of these candidates to run our country when they are currently fighting their way through the race in the most childish of ways?

This is the first election in history with this large of a chance for a 3rd party candidate to win. Start considering alternative options rather than admitting defeat and voting for a candidate you don’t actually like. Consider alternative candidates rather than opting out of the elections this time around.

Recently Gary Johnson has sparked a bit of a spotlight, and I am interested to see where he will go with the recent attention, but he’s not the only out there; do some research. Don’t just sit around and let your “Party” tell you what to do.

I know people are hesitant to cast a vote in the direction of a 3rd party candidate because they feel that it is a wasted vote, but if there was ever a time to consider it, this November is it.

The problem is that 3rd parties don’t have the momentum or publicity to get their word across large numbers of americans who aren’t doing their own research. But if Gary Johnson or any other 3rd party was given a spot at the presidential debates this fall, his voice could be heard by the American population and maybe, just maybe, people might agree with him.

Remember, this is our election, & we determine the outcome.

 

Don’t just take my word for it: See USNews article on Gary Johnson here.

All things vast & minuscule.

Ahhhh, the Grand Canyon.

So beautiful. So enveloping. So vast.

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I mean seriously, this thing is so big you can see it from space.

 

& me in front of the Grand Canyon.

So small. So irrelevant. So minuscule.

& yet, so very very at peace.

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The GC has this crazy effect that makes you turn into a philosopher. Instantly. I actually think it’s impossible to see the canyon without contemplating all of existence & time at one point during your visit.

The thing about this that blows my mind is how irrelevant the details of life are. Now, don’t take this the wrong way. I’m not saying that our lives are meaningless, & I don’t mean that anyone is in anyway unimportant. However, that test I failed last week, the rude customer at work that I had to be nice to, the interview I didn’t kill? I might even go so far as to include my irritation with the presidential race among the list. These things are all relative, & when I stood there looking out at the Grand Canyon I finally remembered that it’s pretty much irrelevant in the course of this universe.

Truly, I (we) get so caught up in the day to day nuisances of life that I forget about the big picture. I take for granted this magnificent & beautiful world that was crafted for us. These adventures & journeys in the world are at my fingertips; to explore & cherish with those that I love & sometimes on my own. Some journeys are near, like my back yard as a child; some adventures are far away in other states, countries, & continents; some are above me in the night sky; & yet, some of these journeys take place within me.

I forget that there is a very large world out there. A very large adventure always, always waiting for me.

See that grayish figure in the middle? That’s me. Sitting at the edge of a cliff. Sitting on the edge of the World. 

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See the grayish figure at the point? Yup, still me. Same cliff; different view. Pretty terrifying huh?

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Well here is my father. Sitting in the exact same spot, a little under 5 years ago. 

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I included this photo because it made me think about how many other people have sat in this exact spot over the years. Perhaps having the same thoughts that I have & perhaps thinking very different things. Millions of people visit the Grand Canyon annually, & while it may affect us all in different ways it impacts us all none-the-less. It’s so important to remember that we are all on a journey. Many of us walk different paths & are heading towards different destinations, but we are all on journeys.

I need to remind myself not to allow all of the small stressors in life to get in the way of the big journeys I have ahead of me. I forget that it doesn’t really matter that I don’t have it all figured out. No one really does, & if you think you do, you’re either lying to yourself, or lying to everyone else.

I forget that my failures are temporary, while my journey is everlasting.

& Even when things are going really really well for me I forget that there is a very large world out there. A very large world that knows nothing of me, & that while my success’s may be great, they are no more-or-less important than the rest of the world’s people and their accomplishments.

Sometimes all it takes to humble me is a random act of kindness from a stranger & some days it takes a bit more than that. Last year I was immensely humbled by the joy of the people in Costa Rica, & today it happened to be the vastness of my view at the Grand Canyon.

The important parts of life are not how much money I can accumulate, it’s not how many friends I can find, & it’s not how perfect my grades or body could be.

What is really magical in life, are the ways the world impacts me & the ways that I leave an impact on others in the world.

The rest of it? It’s just minuscule noise.

 

A letter to my future high school teacher self, from the hopeful college aged you.

Dear Future Mrs. Scherer (Wonder Woman),

When you are in your 15th year of teaching, and you are growing tired of the repetitive days, rowdy students, critical parents, and boring curriculum, please remember why you went into this profession. Remember the words of Julie Williams, “[You] feel effusively alive when [you are] faced with the challenge of creating new understanding in the minds of students. ” (Williams 1). If one day you grow tired of finding ways to instill your students with genuine interest in learning please do not do what so many teachers do, teach the minimum. Remember that students need to learn more than what is required to do well on tests. More than what is written in the curriculum. Simply regurgitating information is not an education. Berliner and Glass point out that “training in STEM… may serve the labor markets but it is doubtful that it prepares children for a full and satisfying life.” (Berliner 6). Follow the lead of the teachers that inspired you to teach. The ones that taught you not only about science and grammar, but also about life, and the importance of knowledge, experience, and passion. Please remember the fire that your teachers once ignited in you, and strive every day to light that same fire in others.

If and/or when you become frustrated with the pressure to improve your students standardized test scores remember what you read in Finnish Lessons, “evidence suggests that teachers tend to redesign their teaching according to these tests, … and adjust teaching methods to drilling and memorizing information rather than understanding knowledge.” (Sahlberg 67). If you, like so many other teachers, adjust what and how you teach merely to see better results on these tests, your students will suffer. Stop allowing the pressure of improving test results to sacrifice the greater education of students. Please hold yourself to a higher expectation than the bare minimum. Each of the three books you read in EDUC 1101 point out failure of standardized testing to actually test what it means to have a good education; what it means to have a well rounded array of knowledge.

If we as teachers give students a passion of learning itself and a desire to understand, we will set them up for a lifetime of education, rather than 4 years of learning how to temporarily memorize and repeat seemingly useless information that will soon be forgotten.

Being a teacher is a very difficult career, because you didn’t just choose to be a teacher, you chose to be Wonder Woman. Show the student that no one expects to graduate, that you hold her to a higher expectation, push yourself to catch the interest of the boy in the back of the room not paying attention. Don’t let students slip through the cracks and merely go through the motions of the day. Remember that superman is not coming to save the day and change education. You chose to be a teacher because you wanted to make a difference in peoples lives. Don’t wait for someone else to be the change you want to see, because that is why schools are failing. Educators are sitting around waiting for someone else to waltz in and change the way things are done, because that’s easier than actually putting in an effort and going to battle for their student’s education every time they get an F on a test. Don’t forget that you have to show the kids your passion and genuine care for them to learn. Don’t become another teacher that kicks back and watches kids grow up through a broken system.

My Tail.

Having lived nowhere else but the small town of Milaca, Mn I have fallen into the rut

of expectations. I know what to expect at the store, at church, at school. However, in as little as the first week of my senior year I was thrown off quite a bit. In a small town school students don’t get away with breaking unspoken social rules without the entire student body hearing about it by lunch period, and if they do bravely wander into uncharted territory those bold choices come with an extreme amount of teasing. To my surprise this year I saw not one, but two girls wearing bushy fox tails to class. My peers wore those unruly tails to school even though they knew they would be teased. They made one very large fashion statement, and they made it holding their head high. That is what I want.

No, I don’t want to wear a tail; the fluffy extremities are far from my idea of taste, and I have confidence in my personal style. I just want to make a statement in the way I live. I consider myself a fairly well rounded person, but I don’t have my thing. My tail if you will. I’m not a ridiculously talented singer, and I’m not beauty pageant beautiful. I’m smart, but I’m not ingenious, and I’m athletic, but I’m not Olympic worthy. It’s not that I don’t give 100% every time I jump into the pool, step onto the field, or begin a test, it’s just that I haven’t found my niche. I haven’t found a place that I am clearly meant to be.

Every day I see people with confidence in their futures that I envy, and spending the next ten years of my life bewildered by where exactly I fit is an extremely terrifying idea to me. Impacting the outcome of students lives. Students that will go on to do great things that could change the world is what I dream of. I want to be an exceptional teacher, coach leader, and mentor, but achieving that goal is far from near. Years of hard-work, dedication, and even some ambivalence will lead me to the unshakeable confidence in my field that I so badly yearn for right now. I am looking for a certain answer in an unpredictable future.

I don’t want to be a nonconformist. I don’t dream of becoming the class valedictorian. I don’t want to think about what I want to do, or who I want to be. I want to know. I want to feel it with every muscle in my body, and every neuron in my brain. I want to wake in the mornings, get dressed and put on my tail. I imagine myself walking across a campus and making a statement. Walking back into a school as a teacher, and know that I will own my job. I want people to look at me and believe that I am one of those people who knows what they are destined for. One day I will stand tall on my pedestal.

I wrote this at the begging of my senior year of high school (and edited it now). That was almost three years ago. At the time I thought I was going to be a lawyer. I have now been through almost two years of college at two different universities, changed my major, and become more and more confident that I am walking towards my destiny every day. 

Sure, there have been days when I wonder if I’m doing the right thing. There are days when I hate my classes, and my current job working at an elementary school. But the moment that a light goes off in a kids eyes makes it all worth it, and more. The moment when I know I am making a difference in someones life, and lighting a spark of interest in in school for a teenager, that makes it worth every hard test, every late night studying, every assignment. 

Lady of the Sea.

I’d rather not be pris’ner to the ground

for in the sea I find my dreams come true.

The feel of gravity so tightly bound;

against all odds we took a dive, and flew.

That’s where you’ll find me, in the depth of sea.

Among the wispy shades of blue and green.

I’m here to think and not to speak; I’m free.

The most beautiful peace I’ve truly seen.

And I will spend all my time day by day,

In a lake or river, even a spring,

perhaps a house overlooking the bay.

The happiness nat’ral beauty can bring.

Sunrise or sunset; in dreams or my mind,

I’ll be one with the sea; love hard to find.

This is an old sonnet that I wrote in 2010. Not much has changed, I’m still in love with the Sea, and somehow that brought me to Duluth, MN.

Once Upon A Time

This was a Found Poetry writing exercise that I just found. It was compiled 2010 while I was in 10th grade & hopelessly in love with a boy who didn’t love me back. 

No it’s not who you 273. and you can’t
try to be something your 668.

Some girls are just born with glitter in their veins, Like flappers.

Smh.

I know you better now, which is not a bad thing.

Friendship is a powerful thing.

I’m getting into you because you
got me in a way,
that words can’t describe.

Not that I care at all, but obviously I do. Ugh.. Stupid.. Emotions..

Waiters gonna wait.

#Stop. #thinking

#Start. #living

Do something. Before he gets bored.. waiting..

The biggest mistake you could ever make is being to afraid to make one.

I hate
trying to think about what your thinking about.

I must admit you’ve got me Contemplating and wondering up a storm,
Over here.

Curled up by the fire with a book and him, Right next to me. Making me

Lau..

..gh and lose my spot. #myideaofheaven

The dream DOES exist.

I’d consider myself a HOPEFUL Romantic.

And what

if you’re the missing piece.

That text is all
it took. #thingsilove

There was a winky face at the end. Good Sign.

Goodnight.
Technically it would be good morning. (;

 

Peeks of Memories

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Most students at UMD have spent a night driving along Skyline Parkway enjoying the view, and it is a past time I particularly enjoy. However, sometimes instead of looking at the beautiful lights along the lake bay I like to turn my attention to all of the houses along the road. If you go at the right time of night most families will have a couple lights on in their house and you can catch them eating dinner at the table or catching up on their favorite show on Netflix.

My mom is currently trying to sell my childhood home; it brings back a lot of memories that my little house in Milaca, MN holds. Good and bad memories, significant and insignificant, but all memories that built my family’s life together and made me who I am today.

When I drive on Skyline looking at the houses, I get to peek into these families lives one after another in an instantaneous moment. A moment that they may never remember, or perhaps a moment that will be engraved in their minds forever. Houses absorb these memories as if they are watching us grow, and in my beat up old car I like to imagine all the history that is wrapped up in the house, and the families inside it making their own histories that flash before me as I drive down the road.

I drive on without impacting the oblivious people who’s lives I just crossed paths with for a moment and continue on probably to never meet them again. And in a way this singularity is as beautiful as any view from Skyline could ever be.

My brain isn’t made of rotten tomatoes, so why should I care about yours?

I HATE MOVIE CRITICS.

This was an out of the ordinary thought for me to have on my extremely ordinary and not in the least bit special or unique day that I had. I spent almost my entire day at work (the local DQ). I was bored and trying to find something, anything, to stimulate my mind.

My mind was wondering, and eventually landed on the latest rage among my group of 17-25 year old friends. AKA people that make up my twitter feed. American Sniper.

I can appreciate a heart-wrenching movie about war and brotherhood, and by all means I can appreciate a man in uniform. I have yet to hear a bad thing about this movie, and I am definitely up for going (should someone ask me). This is when my mother (of all people) popped into my head.

Flipping to the other side of this story. I haven’t lived with my mom for the past 5 months, since I started the roller coaster people tend to call college.. First you have to understand that I love my mom. In recent years she has become one of my best friends, and I really do value her opinions. I’ve always been independent, but it’s been different for me since she doesn’t know what I do day to day, or for instance what movie I decided to go to last Friday.

We talk about a vast majority of things, and I listen to ALMOST all of the advice she offers, but NEVER DO I EVER ASK HER ABOUT MOVIES. So, why in gods name did my moms opinion pop into my head when I thought about seeing American Sniper?

My mom, bless her heart, went through a phase where she was obsessed with reading reviews of movies online. I’m not really sure what spiked the interest in the critics who’s opinions she lived by, and I’m not really sure what caused her to stop reading them, or if she still does. I stopped asking a while ago, and here’s why:

My mom would tell me she was interested in going to the theater to see a recently released film, and then she would skirt off to check the showing times. Our family is known for being indecisive, and I’ve learned not to take any tentative agendas too seriously, because we rarely ended up following through with our original plans. Sure enough, moments later she would emerge from the room that our computer is in and tell me she wasn’t going to go to the movie anymore.

However, this seemed odd. It wasn’t so much the hectic plans that changed my moms mind as usual, it was the idea of the movie that she almost instantly lost interest in, so I asked her why. All she said was, “it got bad reviews.” Even if her closest friends and colleagues were raving about a movie, she would read the critics opinions, and almost religiously follow what they said.

I’m an opinionated young lady, and this irritated the bageezus out of me. I mean come on, my mom doesn’t even know these people and she was blindly allowing them to dictate what movies she did or didn’t see! It drove me crazy. She even started looking up the reviews for the movies I was going to with my friends, and offered her “insight” usually without me asking for it. So eventually I told her to stop.

I didn’t like the way critics were labeling a movie as good or bad. Black and white. Yes or no. They never say, “a teenage girl would enjoy this”, or “this movie would suit someone who likes corny comedy”. The reviews aren’t just realistic. One person’s opinion simply can not speak for millions of different people who watch movies every day.

So for god’s sake if you are one of these people who will not even consider going to a movie that got bad reviews, stop. Stop now. Next time you see a preview and you find yourself making plans to go to it, JUST DO IT. Don’t look up the reviews, don’t ask other people what they thought. Just take your impulse and run with it. You might like it, you might not, but who cares. Take a chance, and think for yourself. Use that brain that isn’t made of rotten tomatoes, and create your own opinions. You might even be surprised to find that your favorite movie is one recieving more down votes than approving ratings.

Not everyone will agree on which movies are worth taking the time to watch, and which movies will only lead to two hours of disappointment, but that’s why ratings suck so much. They aren’t tailored to you. So if you are one of those people out there religiously reading which movies got how many Rotten Tomatoes, try stoping. If you can’t, keep it to yourself so the rest of us can enjoy a life without brainwash where we can all enjoy our own ability to create opinions, and enjoy our own interests however popular or unpopular they are.